Teenage Napalm
by miss fear
Summary: The background story of the ever angsty Guitar Hero Johnny Napalm when he was a teenager. From anarchy filled family counselling to midnight concerts.


This…is…stupid. For the past three weeks I've been in family counseling with my so called 'family.' I got in trouble (again) for beating up some stupid prick in history class with my text book so instead of sending me to juvenile hall, the head master suggested some counseling. The first week of this bull crap my mum just started bawling on and on about how she's been a terrible mum and my dad was swearing on how I don't listen to them or respect authority and my little brother was tattling on me about how I constantly hit him and trip him. This whole thing is supposed to be about helping me but instead I have to listen to my families bitchin' about how terrible I am. I mean they haven't exactly been the best parents in the whole bloody kingdom! It wasn't until the second session where I got to speak but of course as soon as I got a word out my block headed dad had to put it down and we basically fought the entire hour. Well doctor Mullen, a red headed middle aged tart, decided that this week we had to be a little more direct.

"Johnny could you show us what happens when you get home from school?"

She has this bloody doll house set up along with some furniture and some dolls that are supposed to represent me, my mum, my dad, and James, and some other pricks I don't care about. Well the one that's supposed to look like me has blond hair and looks like a complete wanker. I have a tattoo, piercings and green hair thank you very much. I decide not to respond and I fold my arms across my anarchy shirt and give her my best Sid Vicious scowl.

"You see, this is what I have to deal with every damn day! If you ask him to do something he either cusses or scowls at me or Margret." This is coming from my idiot dad Harry.

"Now now Mr. Napalm. Johnny why aren't you cooperating?"

"Because I'm sixteen years old and I don't play with dolls."

I can sense the exasperation in Dr. Mullen's voice, "Alright, James can you show us how you and Johnny interact?"

My stupid nine year old brother rushes to the dollhouse and grabs the dolls that are supposed to represent me and James. Sissy… "Okay I get home from school and go upstairs to see Johnny."

"And then what happens."

He put the dolls into some room on the second floor of the stupid house, "He says, 'If you don't get out of here I'm gonna beat your ass!'"

"And then what does he do."

I can't take anymore of this bull, I turn around and smack James in the back of the head. As usual the sissy starts screaming and bawling. My God, I've NEVER seen a nine year old scream as much as him.

"Hey there! Johnny do you understand that we could have you charged for assault!?"

My mum speaks up, "Never mind that, it happens all the time. Just go on." James sits by my mum.

"Alright then, Johnny can you show us your side of the story. This time with the dolls."

I roll my eyes and 'demonstrate' how I push James down the stairs. I can see Mullen taking notes.

"I see, what else do you do when you get home from school?"

I think for a moment, trying to come up with the most disgusting thing to do. I decide to pick up a girl doll and demonstrate how I engage in sexual acts.

My mum covers her face and screams. My dad shakes his head and covers my brother's eyes.

"Mr. and Mrs. Napalm I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, I'm terribly sorry."

"Brilliant…" says my mum.

My dad doesn't take it, "What the hell do you want us to do with him then!? As you can clearly see the lad's out of control!"

"If he gets in trouble again send him to juvenile hall." She gets up and leaves. "Goodbye and Good luck Napalms."

For most kids my age the ride home would have been hell, but I'm tough I can take the screaming and fighting. I just block it out. My dad is swearing about what a terrible son I am and my mum is bawling as usual about what a failure she is and my brother is playing with his seatbelt. I don't care, my family sucks. I'm not worried about them, I'm just trying to formulate my plans for tonight.

I think my parents want me to get married have little kids and work in the banking business like my dad. I never for a moment wanted that. I'm in this band called Bastard Children of the Apocalypse. We're a total British Punk band, modeled after the Sex Pistols and new bands like the Dead Kennedy's. We're trying to land a record deal and I think we can do it. We have a gig tonight at the Total Acid Bar.

My parents have me on lockdown but that don't stop me at all. At nine when my parents and brother go to bed I sneak out. My bed's on the second floor of our little bungalow house. I snap my guitar on my back and slide down the gutter drain. It ain't exactly safe but it gets the job done. Nothing I ever do is safe anyways.

I run halfway and then catch a bus ride with change from my dad's bathroom. Within a matter of time I get off and run like hell to the concert. I always carry a knife, we usually play on the east side and that's pretty rough. Lots of stabbin's and drug dealin'. I've never had to use it, yet. I get there just in time, my band's always there when I arrive, cos' they live in the east side of London anyways.

"Johnny where the hell have you been?! We go onstage in like, five minutes!" that's coming from Willy Burns, my best friend and singer.

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'm here ain't I?!" It's best to reply with as much angst and sarcasm, Willy taught me.

We set up and perform. Most people get into the music scene for the fame and the drugs, booze and sex and all of that's great and all but I play for the music. Every concert is a pure adrenaline rush. It still amazes me that I can play my bloody heart out and get paid!

After the concert I'm surrounded by booze and women. I'm not a traditional guy when it comes to anything especially women. I like them older than me (which is in their twenties), tattooed, pierced, and willing. They don't know that I'm only in year twelve in school and that I still live with my parents, which is the awesome part. Don't ask don't tell.

The hardest part is sneaking back home, usually Willy or some of the other members gives me a ride cos' it's so far away, but today they totally bailed on me. So totally intoxicated I have to walk home! I can't even get a bus ride at this bleedin' hour! I keep my guitar close and my knife closer. Most thugs would pick on some lone teenage kid on the streets with an expensive guitar at three in the morning, but not me. Willy says that I have an intimidating aura about me, whatever that means. He says that it'll come in handy some day but I don't know.

I sneak in through the front door with my key, I've learned to be super sneaky when sneaking in. If my parents ever caught me it would all be over. No more booze, sex, or Apocalypse.

In the end I wake up at seven in the morning, though I'm tired I'm sober and I get on the bus and ride to the bloody school. My mum and dad couldn't be wiser. Willy tells me that they'll never find out, parents usually don't get much smarter, but I have a feeling that someone will spill my secret. But for now I'm a live for the day kinda guy. Willy says that I shouldn't worry about my future, and I'll listen to him. He's usually right anyways.


End file.
